Why Men Suck at Relationships
How do I know? Because I am a man.
If you’re a straight man, you suck at relationships. You don’t think you do, of course, but you do. Just because you are a straight man. Being a straight man myself, I know.
Here’s how you suck: It’s because you don’t really value relationships much. Sure, you’ve got your buds, your drinking partners, the bros you pal around with, cruise for chicks with, and blab with about sports. But you don’t really care about those relationship per se. They come, they go, like interchangeable parts. Whatever…
Have you ever considered the possibility that relationships are not just a form of entertainment?
You probably think you care about relationships, but you really don’t. You feel a natural inclination to socialize, but that inclination, largely instinctive, serves only to entertain you. It doesn’t mean you that care about the people with whom you socialize. You appreciate their entertainment value and that’s about it.
You might wonder what it means to actually care about relationships. After all, you like hanging out with your buds, right? Doesn’t that mean I care about relationships? No, it does not.
Women are generally better at relationships than men because they actually care, more often than not, about the people with whom they have them.
Have you ever considered the possibility that relationships are not just a form of entertainment? Nothing wrong with having relationships that entertain you, of course, but as the sole reason for having them? Think about what that means. It means that relationships serve as a means to end and not as an end in themselves. And that makes you a means to an end to others as well. How does that feel? Maybe it doesn’t matter to you.
When your connections to people are superficial, you can’t possibly be good at relationships.
Not caring primarily about the people with whom you have relationships, as opposed to their entertainment value, causes you to have superficial connections. It makes you another consumer in the relationship marketplace, and likewise a provider. Welcome to the world of relationship capitalism.
When your connections to people are superficial, you can’t possibly be good at relationships. You can’t recognize people’s emotional needs or understand their inner worlds, and therefore can’t see them for who they are. And when you don’t see them for who they are, you are bound to suck at having relationships with them.
Think about it. How often do you delve deeply into the hearts and minds of the people that you call “friends?” Do you have a clue about what’s going on for them emotionally? What they are going through, good and bad, in their daily lives? Hell, do you even know their birthdays? I’ll bet not. I’ll bet that your aversion to intimacy, straight male that you are, means you never venture much past the surface in your relationships. You never go as far as you have to go to really see and know the people in your life.
If you want to be good at relationships, you’ll have to start caring first and foremost about the people with whom you have them. Then, when you see people deeply and intimately, when you care about them deeply and intimately, you can’t help but be good at relationships.
